


I'll Be Seeing You Again

by Brown_eyed_paradox



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: 1940s, Alternate Universe - Future, F/M, Slow Burn, Time Travel, WinterShock - Freeform, darcy lewis is bad ass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-03-13 05:21:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13563741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brown_eyed_paradox/pseuds/Brown_eyed_paradox
Summary: Mission: Save one life to save a billion other lives. Save Steve Rogers from falling off that train.Hydra weren’t getting their hands on Captain America. Not if Darcy or Tony or Bruce had anything to do with it.Time Travel AU





	1. One.

**Author's Note:**

> *Chapter One has replaced the Prologue* and I've removed the Soulmates trope (I was being way too ambitious trying to work that one into the story!)
> 
> Thanks to everyone for commenting! I'm really excited to get this fic going.
> 
> PS. *still* very highly recommend 12 Monkeys. One of the best tv shows I have ever seen.

** Chapter 1 **

Tony Stark was a man with a burdened heart. The pit in his stomach only grew upon seeing the face of a young woman he was oddly quite fond of, volunteering to be the second test subject.

“Listen.” His voice a low grumble, “You don’t have to do this. You’re still young and-”

“And _expendable_.” She finished, fingers pushing a pair of cracked glasses up her nose. It had seen better days. Though that could be said about everything and everyone these days. They had _all_ seen better days and really, anything was better than watching their home crumble to the ground with the enemy at their doorstep.

“Lewis,” Tony spat emphatically, “just because you aren’t a _scientist_ or a soldier doesn’t mean you’re expendable. It doesn’t mean you have to go kill yourself-”

“ _You_ built the machine. _You_ and Dr. Banner and…and _Jane._ ” Her voice cracked at that last name. Just a day ago the woman was enthusiastically explaining to Darcy what their data meant – paradox _blah_ and temporal blah and causation loops _blah_. Darcy didn’t understand. She wasn’t a scientist and she wasn’t vaguely interested in the Physics behind it all. What she _was_ interested in, however, was the hope they all carried. _Hope_ for a better future…by changing the past. Jane was dead now. She had been hunted and gunned down like so many others who were members of the resistance.

“I know what you’re feeling right now. It’s survivor’s guilt. Look, I get it. Jane was your best friend and you feel like it should have been _you_ that died last week”

“I do.” Darcy bluntly snapped, “She’d have been useful to the cause. She was the one with the brains. I was just here to make you crazy scientists take a break once in a while,”

“Don’t you dare do that,” Tony all but barked, “Don’t put yourself down, Darcy.”

“ _Fine_.” She sighed, “but you can’t deny that she was more _valuable_. She was a goddamn physicist. What am I, Tony? An orphan that used to pick pockets till I was 14. If it weren’t for you I’d have been dead a long time ago. And if it weren’t for Jane, we’d never have a shot at changing things- changing the past. So it’s got to be me. It’s _my turn_ now to be _useful_ and you _know_ it.”

She eyed him carefully and then pushed just a little farther, “Besides, are you saying it won’t work? That something three geniuses built will _fail_?” Her tone was teasing but her words were heavy. She knew exactly which buttons she could push to manipulate Tony. It came with the territory of being his pseudo-daughter.

“I’m saying you could _die_.” Tony knew nothing he could say would change the way she saw herself but he bristled at her casual attitude none the less.

She tried a different tactic, “Doesn’t matter _who_ sits in that machine and goes back in time, Tony. We both know if they’re successful in changing the past then I won’t exist.” She said it in such a matter of fact way that it made Tony sick with guilt. Darcy Lewis would be erased from time either way and that was something she had accepted. It deeply saddened Tony.

Blinking rapidly to prevent his tears from falling, he groused, “You were a very _skilled_ pick pocket. It’s why I took you in.”

She snorted, her own eyes watery. She knew she’d never win him over, per say, but him _not_ preventing her from volunteering was a win in her books.

“Ok,” he sighed, his brows furrowing deeply, “Ok fine. Get into costume kid.” His eyes avoided hers as he busied himself shuffling paper about. She smiled sadly at him, ignoring his actions and leaning over to hug him tightly.

“I’ll miss you, old man.” She teased but the sincerity in her voice didn’t go amiss.

Closing his eyes and relaxing in her hold, he breathed deeply as he spoke, “You too kiddo. Now get going. We don’t have a lot of time.”

The irony of his words made her snort but she made haste. The building they had been residing in over the past five years shook precariously, bringing down rubble and dust with it.

Once Darcy had changed clothes, she made her way towards the machine, hoisted atop a stage, in the centre of the room.

“Dr. Banner.” She nodded as she stood at the bottom of the stage, her eyes fixated on the chair between two large domes on either side of the contraption. Her eyes squinted as bright lights shone on her face, just as Dr. Banner turned on the machine.

“Initiate sequence…” Bruce Banner spoke morosely, his eyes weary and face sallow. Darcy meant a great deal to both he and Tony. Had circumstances been better, they would have never allowed her to make such a decision but they were simply _out of time_. Within days they’d all be either dead or captured and the last of the resistance would fall. Hydra would win. They had no other choice but to let Darcy be a test subject.

Bruce Banner had never been a religious man but as soon as Darcy sat in the time machine, he prayed to gods of all faiths for Darcy to be unharmed. He pulled out a metal encased syringe from the pocket of his lab coat and gingerly handed it to her.

“How are you feeling? See any green patches of skin?” He attempted a weak joke. He had injected her with the time serum a few hours prior. Her body had taken to it seemingly well which meant version 72 of the serum may well be successful.

“Means it’ll work, right?” Darcy asked eagerly.

“Don’t know for sure, kid.” Bruce sighed, “It could just be dormant in you.”

Out of pure desperation, he had injected the same version the serum in himself a few weeks ago and the results had been inconclusive. His body had rejected it, forcing his human form to subside as the Hulk took over. It took _weeks_ for the Hulk to calm down enough to give Banner some control back. It took a heck of a lot of convincing to dissuade the Hulk from surfacing and fighting the Hydra soldiers above ground. The Hulk/Banner had been presumed dead for a few years now and if Hydra or AIM found out he was alive, they would no doubt capture him again to further experiment on him. Could you imagine a world where Hydra had managed to replicate the serum and make 10, _20_ more Hulks? Any country that opposed Hydra’s rule would instantly be turned into a wasteland.

“We’re being optimistic, Doc.” Darcy sang as she examined the syringe in her hands.

“The serum, if it worked, has altered the very foundations of your body’s molecular structure. It’ll allow time to move around you, and hence you, to move through time. If you run into any problems, inject this syringe into your forearm. It’s a tether. Once it’s been activated, we can track you in time and pull you back to 2017.”

“But if the mission is successful then…” Darcy gnawed at her lip, a wry smile on her face. They both knew what was unsaid. She’d be erased. They’d all be erased, or atleast, this version of themselves.

Darcy ascended the steps to the machine and took her seat in the chair.

“Ok, I’m ready.” She shouted, her palms clutching the chair handles till her knuckles turned white.

 “You have the key?” Tony shouted as the machine purred to live, obscuring all other sounds.

“Yes!” Darcy shouted back.

“Find him. You know your mission.”

“Find Howard Stark and save Steve Rogers. I got it Tony! I…I love you.”

“God _damnit_ kid.” Tony growled, his eyes wet with tears.

“3…2…1,” Bruce mumbled as he finished sequencing the machine, “1945…God bless you kid.” He whispered a quiet prayer before he pressed a single button that would determine the fate of the entire world. The mission simply had to be successful. There was no other way.

_Mission: Save one life to save a billion other lives. Save Steve Rogers from falling off the train._

Hydra weren’t getting their hands on Captain America. Not if Darcy or Tony or Bruce had anything to do with it.

*~*~*~*

 _“Mother Fucker.”_ Darcy spluttered as she felt her body being ripped apart and put back together all at once before she could so much as feel a flicker of pain. The she felt wetness seep into the cotton of her skirt and she groaned in overwhelming embarrassment. _Has she pissed herself!?_ Her brain was like scrambled eggs for a long moment as her senses adjusted to the bright sunlight shining down on her. Her hands and feet were fast turning numb and before long Darcy realised she _hadn’t_ wet herself, she had just fallen face down into a pile of snow. She stared, dumbfounded, at the ice white layer on the ground, on the trees around her, on every surface her eyes could see. _Where the hell was she?!_

Sure, Bruce had warned her that since this was their first trial on a human subject, they weren’t sure their calculations would transport her to the exact ‘when’ and ‘where’ they intended on, but Darcy hadn’t paid much attention to the musings of the shy scientist, assuming he was just being modest. She groaned softly in dismay as her eyes ran over her attire. It was wholly unsuitable for this kind of climate. She was in a pair of beige slacks with a white blouse tucked in, and a thin trench coat that seemed to mock her with what little warmth it was providing her. It was _clear_ to her that the calculations needed adjusting and that she wasn’t _in_ America, she could see the goddamn Alps in the distance.

She began panicking then. What if this was it? This was _all_ she amounted to? Going back in the past and dying in a snow covered forest in god only knew which year? It was _typical_ Darcy, to be honest. She felt a lump in her throat and struggled to swallow it. What a complete waste of space she was. She mourned and curse and sobbed, and she didn’t bother doing any of it quietly. There wasn’t a single soul around. She almost preferred getting caught than dying out in the cold. Fat, hot tears continued rolling down her face as her body shuddered and wracked with sobs. She was so involved in her own bout of self pity though, that she failed to hear footsteps enclosing.

“Hands where I can see em!” A rough voice threatened, eliciting a sharp scream from Darcy. Her jaw all but dropped as her tears gave way for her eyes to focus on the bear like figure in front of her. She had seen his face before. It sent a terrible chill through her body, worse than what she assumed being buried in snow would feel like. She let out a second, much shriller scream as she fumbled backwards, tripping and falling over her own feet onto the snow bed beneath her. Army issued sturdy boots tread heavily towards her, gun still very much aimed at her head but his eyes…they looked apprehensive. Not cruel, like she once remembered.  Darcy had grown up haunted by the frosty blue of his eyes, always bitter, always murderous. He was the horror story mothers told children about to ensure they behaved well. He was _The Winter Soldier_ , Hydra’s first human weapon and the harbinger of destruction.

“Maam? Maam I need you to tell me how you got here. Do you speak English? Maam..”

His words were woolly in her ears. Muffled, muddled, fuzzy. It took her a long moment of staring at him, and then him lowering his gun, to make her realise that he _wasn’t_ the Winter Soldier yet. Not yet. He was still just Steve Rogers though that didn’t ease the tension in her muscles, nor did it make her release her clenched grip on her own Glock, tucked in the waistband of her trousers, out of sight.

 _More footsteps,_ her mind registered, eyes frantically moving back and forth, awaiting more soldiers. What happened next, however, completely floored her, rendering her speechless.

A tall man, similar in build to Rogers yet more withered, suddenly seemed to light up upon spotting her. Mouth gaping and snapping shut a few times, he spluttered, “ _Darcy_?”.

The bizarreness of the entire situation, paired with exhaustion from crying her lungs out in freezing conditions finally seemed to catch up with her. Vision darkening, she passed out.


	2. Two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overwhelmed by the response, so thank you very much all of you!  
> I hope to keep things interesting in each chapter.  
> I've already mapped out the general story line so there shouldn't be any loop holes in the plot but if you spot any, then let me know in the comments please!
> 
> Thank you again, and enjoy!

** Two. **

“Doll…easy now..easy.” Whispers in gentle tones lulled Darcy awake. She was handed a hot tin mug, instructed to press it to her chest, to allow for extra warmth to seep through her thin layers of clothing. With furrowed brows, her fingers rubbed the sleeves of a forest green shirt that was laid on top of her as a blanket. She was still in what appeared to be a forest but she was inside a makeshift tent of sorts now and she was most definitely not alone either. Sea blue eyes widened as she pushed her glasses further up her nose, bringing her surroundings into focus. Then it was her turn to gape.

 _“Holy motherfucking christ on a cracker,”_ she blurted out before she could stop herself, “You’re _Bucky Barnes_!”

The man’s grin never faltered, though his brows did furrow slightly.

“Darcy…did you hit your head?”

She’d have spat out the tea had she taken a sip to begin with.

“How do you know my name?!” she managed to stutter out as she struggled to sit up on the stretcher she was currently lying on. Her eyes frantically wandered his features as he rushed to help her up. He looked much the same now as he had in _her_ time, expect, naturally, a little more youthful. He hadn’t aged much at all though, she realised. He looked to be in his mid 20s now and even though he was 90+ in her time, he appeared as if he was just barely at the edge of 40. _The wonders of super soldier serum,_ she mentally concluded as she continued her perusal of him. He was sporting a 5 o’clock shadow – she’d only seem him this way once, on a film reel in the Smithsonian, when she was just a kid. It was _before_ Hydra infiltrated the US government and started changing museum exhibits and recorded history along with it. They began their own branding of public education as they changed school curriculum to teach children about the advancements of Hydra and AIM and how _weak_ their previous governments were. Her parents had promptly pulled her out of school and as a result of that, they’d gotten shot. It was how Darcy ended up a runaway orphan, living hand to mouth on the streets of New York City.

“You seem a million miles away, Doll.” The tenderness of his voice drew her out of her day dreams and she found she was a little breathless upon seeing his face mere inches from hers. His fingers were pushing back strands of her thick, dark hair behind her ears as she unabashedly stared at his rather pretty face. Her fingers barely restrained themselves from touching the sharp edge of his jawline as she wondered what his scruff would feel like between her fingers or on the expanse of her neck.

He had a beard in her time. A thick, salt and pepper beard that she had many a fantasy about in her teenage years…and _ahem_ , even now. He was bulkier too, which, _hallelujah_ …but, the major difference, one she was having trouble getting over, was watching him smile. He _never_ smiled in the future. His eyes were always cold and _burdened_ – like he was barely managing to carry the weight of all the horrible things he had seen. Darcy figured he had seen a great many horrors, what with him being _Sargent James Buchanan Barnes_ , American Hero and Leader of the Resistance. She’d even seen him in person once. He had come to meet Tony on some important matter, judging by the way their shoulders had been shrouded and their voices had been gruff. Sargent Barnes had spared her a glance on his way out of Tony’s house and Darcy could have sworn she had seen a flicker of sorrow wash across his hardened eyes before they were impassive again.

“Gosh, Doll, you really weren’t kiddin’ were ya?”

She inhaled deeply upon hearing that Brooklyn drawl of his, “I…uh…”

“This the first time for you?”

“Huh?” she must have sounded drunk, she was sure of it. He simply chuckled, his coarse fingers tugging the shirt around her shoulders, pulling the ends closer to keep her warm.

“You really did time travel didn’t ya? I mean, you proved it last time but…but I can see it plain as day now.”

Darcy was always one for rolling with the punches – she was a damn orphan that was pseudo-adopted by Tony Stark for god’s sake – but she found herself floundering hopelessly at his words.

“We’ve met before.” His smile was soft, his eyes sparkling with mischief, “You told me I’d see you again but that you wouldn’t know who I was. I thought you were messin’ around. I know better now.”

“We’ve met before?! _When_?!” She squawked, her throat hoarse from screaming and crying earlier.

“1941.”

Darcy gulped thickly, “Why was I there?” Her tone was submerged in worry as it occurred to her that if she had _travelled_ twice, then _clearly_ , her first mission hadn’t been successful.

“You need to tell me _exactly_ what happened, Sargent Barnes, it’s the only way-”

“The only way you can fulfil your mission?” He quipped, “Save Steve Rogers?”

Bucky Barnes was blowing her mind. The fact that he knew all of this…that _she_ had told him all of this in the past/future – it was giving her a headache.

“Why would I…why would I tell you all this?”

He snorted then as he bit his lower lip, eyes tinged with nostalgia, “Can’t tell ya, Darce. You said I couldn’t tell you.”

He sounded almost accusatory then – like he was already regretting not telling her. Letting out a huff of frustration, his hands raked thorough his hair as he pulled himself together.

“How…how long was I in 1941 for?” Darcy asked rather meekly, his demeanour confusing her. He acted like they were familiar with each other. ‘Darce’, he had called her.

“A month,” He shrugged, pulling out a cigarette and placing it between his pursed lips. His cheeks hollowed as he sucked in and she found her gaze lingering on his pink mouth. The second they parted into a smirk, she cleared her throat and looked away. She’d been caught red handed. A soft blush stained her cheeks yet she forged on, determined to ignore it.

“Uh…can you really not tell me anything?”

Shaking his head in dismay, he moved farther away from her. His hand wavered awkwardly before it rose up in the space between them.

“It’s November, 1943 now. Can tell you that much.”

She hesitantly took his hand, gripping it tighter as he pulled her up. A little unsteady on her feet, she took a few seconds to regain her balance. She worked hard to quell the panic brewing inside of her. _Bruce Banner and Tony fucking Stark had sent her to the wrong time._ Maybe this was why she’d fail to save Steve Rogers. She pinched the fleshy part of her arm at thinking such negative thoughts. Darcy Lewis didn’t believe in fate. So what if another ‘her’ had to venture further back in time to save Steve Rogers? She had hope that she was in charge of her own actions and that _this time_ , she’d save Steve Rogers from falling of that damn train, even if that meant sticking around in 1943 for a couple of years.

Upon exiting the tent, she took note of her surroundings and quickly connected the dots. November 1943, Barnes had said. If she remembered her history correctly (which she did), she was most likely in the company of rescued soldiers that were making their way back to the US base in Italy. This meant…she gulped nervously, her gaze shifting to Barnes’ rigid stature and his agitated movements. He looked uncomfortable in his own skin, like he expected someone or something to jump out at them at any moment.

“Did…You were just in the Hydra facility, weren’t you? P..Prisoner of War.”

His eyes hardened as they burned holes into her.

“Yes.”

She felt a flood of guilt fill her at his confirmation. She felt like he was blaming her for his condition. In fact, she was pretty sure he _was_. They had met before and he knew she could travel back and forth in time. In his eyes, she had been perfectly capable of preventing the torture and experimentation he had gone through but he didn’t know how vital he was for the future. The resistance wouldn’t have lasted half as long as it had if it hadn’t been for Sargent Barnes. So, despite being able to prevent the event of his torture, she would have actively _chosen_ not to have done so. It was far too fundamental to his character and thus, to the future of the world. Did that make her a terrible person? Darcy didn’t know, nor did she want to spend too long thinking about such things. She had to constantly remind herself what exactly her mission was. _Save Steve Rogers_. That was it. That was all that mattered now.

Darcy sat quietly in front of the campfire, ignoring the stares and whispers of other soldiers. She heard Barnes lying to the rest of the soldiers about who she was and how she came to be here. Her brows furrowed in confusion as he recited a perfectly plausible explanation – almost like he had prepared for her appearance here and now.

He was currently ‘relaying’ to the troops of what she had told him in the tent. She was apparently Howard Stark’s cousin. She was also, apparently, a mechanical engineer and had been working with Howard to create weapons for the War. Howard had sent her out to scout the area for Captain America and report back to him. And since this was an unauthorised mission, not even Steve Rogers knew of this.

“Ma’am,” Captain Rogers approached her, all broad chested and reeking of morale.

“Captain.” She mumbled, shuffling to stand up. Her eyes shifted from his hair to his chest to his feet, to his shield. She couldn’t maintain eye contact. He _terrified_ her. Well, _another version_ of him scared her, not the Rogers _now_ , but…semantics.

“Apologies for pointing a weapon at you but…”

“But you came upon a strange woman bawling like a baby, it’s understandable.” She chuckled nervously. He smiled tightly at her as he nodded.

“Bucky said you’ve met before.”

Her eyes widened slightly, gaze zeroing in on Sargent Barnes standing a few feet away from the pair.

“Uh..yeah. I met Bucky in…” Darcy spoke a little louder than was necessary to attract Bucky’s attention.

“Quit interrogatin’ the Lady, Stevie.” Bucky huffed loudly as he approached them, “Six feet tall and all macho and you still ain’t learnt how to speak to a dame.”

A few of the soldiers around them chuckled good naturedly at Barnes’ teasing, making Steve blush rather adorably.

“Here,” Barnes handed her another jacket so she could layer up, “We got another couple hours of walking ahead of us till we get to the base. Think this is enough till then?”

She was getting whiplash from his changing moods. He was smiling brilliantly at her, through bone tired weariness and dirt marred features. It took her aback a little.

“Yeah..uhm..i’ll be fine. I don’t…you’ll be cold.” She bit her tongue; _no he wouldn’t_. The serum must have been active in his body by now which meant he’d be running warmer than all of them, expect for Captain Rogers.

“I’ll be fine, Doll.” He shrugged modestly and motioned for her to walk with him as the rest of the soldiers put out the small fires they had started an hour ago. Packing up and clearing all evidence of pit stop took no longer than 10 minutes as they all worked together, fast paced and eager to get back to base.

Throughout the walk, Darcy remained silent as Steve and Bucky exchanged snide remarks and teasing quips beside her. Bucky hadn’t expected to see Steve this way, that much was clear, so apparently Darcy _hadn’t_ told Bucky about all of this in the past. She let her mind stew on matters till her head started hurting. Suddenly another thought struck her, causing her eyes to widen. Howard Stark would be at the base. Which meant Bucky’s lies would quickly be found out and she’d probably be sent away or kept in a prison or something. It would all but ruin her plan. She growled internally in frustration again. _Fucking Bruce and Tony_.

Bucky somehow managed to sense her turmoil, causing him to drop back a little, lean down towards her and speak quietly against her ear.

“What’s the matter?”

“Who told you to make up that story about me being Howard’s cousin?” She could have checked her tone before she snapped at him, but she didn’t.

His brows rose in part amusement and part disbelief, “You did.”

That quickly shut her up, much to Bucky’s glee. He took pity on her though, as he spoke quietly after a few more silent seconds, “Howard knows. He won’t rat you out, Doll.”

“ _Jesus_.” She hissed in annoyance, “What happened in 1941?! Who all did I blab to!?”

Bucky chuckled, his voice rumbling through her due to his proximity. It made her shiver a little, “Just myself and Howard, and…”

“And?”

He cleared his throat, “Doll…you said something about causal loops and…”

“Ugh.” Darcy was well aware she probably sounded like a child throwing a tantrum by now but _nothing_ was going according to plan and it was pissing her off.

“ _What_?” She groused at his snort.

“You’re not intimidatin’, Doll.” His eyes like embers in the fading evening light. On receiving a rather strong glare from her, he broke into a laugh, “It’s even _worse_ now.”

Face sour, she snarled at him before stomping on ahead, in line with the Captain. She’d rather face him than stand any more of _Barnes’_ teasing.


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments and kudos! Truly very flattered and excited for you all to read this.   
> Bit of a filler chapter to set the scene but the next chapter on wards should pick up pace - both with romance and all the angst xD  
> \- Sam

** Chapter 3 **

 

“Let’s hear it for Captain America!”

Darcy watched the unfolding events with wide eyes. So it had all been true – Captain America really _had_ been this great hero, beloved by all, before he had turned into the Winter Soldier. Once all the cheering and clapping had calmed down a little, Darcy noticed soldiers branching off into different areas in the camp. She stuck besides Bucky rather reluctantly, waiting for him to give her direction of some sorts. She had noticed a Colonel eyeing her with suspicion but before he could approach her, Steve stood between them. Darcy, not one to waste an opportunity, tugged on Bucky’s arm and pulled him away from the crowd.

 

“You need to go to the med bay to…you know..” she waved her hand at his face, “get that fixed.”

“Ouch.” He grumbled, appearing mildly offended.

“Oh _stop_.” She huffed, pulling him inside the med tent, “You need to tell me at least _something_ about 1941. What’s my cover story? I can’t keep hiding behind you, hoping no one will talk to me. I looked like an idiot in front of the Win- uh…Cap over there.”

Bucky scratched his jaw as he let her push him onto a spare bed. She bustled about, getting cotton and antiseptic in place before stepping ever so close to him.

“You were a nurse in the Wisconsin training camp. That’s how we met. I don’t know what you were there to do. You never told me. Just said it was important to the mission. That I’d get it one day. Was hoping you could tell me now but uh…” he laughed humourlessly. She could tell he wanted to say more – that he was just _itching_ to make some kind of snarky remark, but she wasn’t biting.

“Ok so what, I’m a mechanical engineer _and_ a nurse?” She dabbed the cotton pad on the cut beneath his eye.

“You can be whoever you wanna be” He responded, dry as the Sahara desert and whilst it would have amused her at any other time, _now_ wasn’t a great one.

“Listen, I don’t know what _problem_ you have with me but you need to shelve it. I can’t let anything compromise my mission or else-”

“Or else _my_ best friend gets brainwashed and turned into a monster.” His voice was hard and chastising, making her feel guilty.

“I’m sorry. I just…” she sighed, shifting closer to him subconsciously. Her eyes implored him as she continued, “You have no idea what the world is like 70 years from now…and I guess in my desperation to change it, I sometimes forget that Steve is…that he _means_ something to you and everyone else – that he’s not just a mission.”

The scrutiny in Bucky’s eyes faded a little but he still watched her rather carefully, as if he was waiting for her to _do_ something – what, exactly it was, she wasn’t sure. He looked somewhat pained, his gaze weary as it wandered her form. She looked the same…even _smelt_ the same – like a goddamn meadow – but she didn’t _feel_ the same. Like she was someone he was familiar with but couldn’t quite place. It was an odd feeling that unsettled him.

After a few more minutes of just silently watching her patch up cuts on his hands and collarbone, he spoke smoothly, “No one who was in Wisconsin is here now. You can pretend you’ve always been an Engineer.”

“And Howard…?” she asked as she put final touches to the patch on his forehead.

“I already told ya Doll, he won’t rat you out.”

Just as he got up to leave, Darcy gripped his sleeve tightly, halting him.

“Uh..I…I know you’re mad because _past me_ or…future me…or whoever…” Brows furrowed as she confused herself, she shook her head and quickly resumed, “I’m not the same person you knew in 1941.” Defeat was evident on her face, “And I know it might be too much to ask, but I’ll ask anyway.” She bit her lip nervously as she looked at him, “Don’t…hate me for sins I haven’t committed yet…Please?”

He sucked in a shaky breath, both exasperated and frustrated. His hands raked through his hair as he distanced himself from her. He couldn’t look at her – not like this – not when she didn’t even _know_ the real reason for why he was mad. He felt betrayed by someone who technically didn’t even exist yet. The version of Darcy in front of him…she was _different_. She didn’t look at him like he had just hung the moon in the sky- like she trusted him with every secret she held…but she must not have truly trusted him anyway. Not like he had trusted her – or else why wouldn’t she have warned him about Hydra taking him in? The torture, the experimentation…she hadn’t warned him about any of it. He was bitter and resentful, and he didn’t know who to direct it at. He didn’t _want_ to feel this way about her, especially when she looked so…so goddamn _innocent_ but _Christ_ , it was hard to suppress all his sourness about her, about himself, about their situation.

With pinched fingers at the bridge of his nose, he huffed a sharp breath. “I don’t hate you.” Her expression dropped instantly and he knew he hadn’t been convincing enough.

“Look,” He inhaled deeply, “Just…give it time. ‘Sides, we gotta work together to stop Stevie from fallin’ off that train so…so I don’t hate you. I never can. You’ll be the one to save him won’t ya?” His tone was almost placating this time around and it managed to ease her anxiety enough for her to nod shakily.

“Ok.” She wrung her hands together as she shifted on her feet, “So, uh, when do I get to meet Howard?”

 

*_*_*

**London SSR Base, November 1943**

All the freed soldiers had been given time off from the battlefield to recover and whilst a bunch of them did take leave, a small group, out of loyalty to their Sargent and Captain America, followed the pair of them to London. Darcy followed too, under the guise of meeting with Howard in London and continuing her work on weapons design for the SSR.

The journey from Italy to London had been long and perfunctory. She hadn’t exchanged more than a few polite words with Bucky, much to her disappointment and frustration. She frankly didn’t know how to behave around him and she had a feeling he was content with the awkward silence hanging in the air between them. She constantly felt strange and dissatisfied by the entire situation, and meeting Howard Stark had left her feeling more of the same.

Howard had greeted her like an old pal – like they were actual _cousins_ and that was insane. There was a fondness in his gaze that she struggled to find sincere, considering Tony always went on about how his old man was a cold jackass, obsessed with Captain America. It was clear as day how in _awe_ of Steve Rogers, Howard Stark was but he didn’t seem like a jackass at all. Atleast, not to her. He was _incredibly_ annoying though. He kept pestering her about the future and while she had indulged him on the first day by telling him he would have a son, she quickly found out how much of a mistake that had been. He was _relentless_ , like a dog with a bone, and Darcy could only say ‘no’ to him so many times before she just point blank started ignoring him. She had initially worried about her behaviour towards him blowing her cover but apparently, women being annoyed at Stark was a common occurrence so it didn’t seem odd at all, even if she was supposedly his own cousin. As vexed as she was about her situation, one silver lining that derived from it was the distance it afforded her from Sargent Barnes.

Much of Darcy’s time was spent cooped up in Howard’s ‘den’ where he conducted crazy experiments and tested out various compound metals in attempts to recreate vibranium. She’d gotten tired of telling him it couldn’t be done. She had almost slipped up and recited the tale of how the Wakandans put vibranium to various uses over the years. Howard had gotten suspicious of her calm confidence and had tried interrogating her on what else she knew about vibranium and more importantly _how_ she knew what she knew. Darcy plead the fifth – she couldn’t very well tell him about a secret nation that was more technologically advanced than any other country in the world by about 30 years, now could she? The impact on the current timeline could be disastrous.

In _her_ future, in order to combat against Hydra’s forces, King T’Challa had opened up the borders of Wakanda to offer refuge to all those rebelling against Hydra. Wakanda’s advanced technology had enabled the rebellion to survive for as long as it had but Hydra had scientists and engineers of their own that, combined with an army of super soldiers, managed to storm into Wakanda and take over. Darcy had left the future right on the cusp of their capture and so the fate of the rebellion, of everyone’s lives, now rested on her shoulders and _nothing_ in the world could persuade Darcy to fuck up – most certainly not Howard Stark and all his pestering questions about the future.

\---

“Darcy, do hurry up darling, I want to get to the pub sometime tonight.”

Darcy snorted at the dry sarcasm in Peggy Carter’s tone.

“Hmm, or maybe you just want to get there before The Captain asks any other girl for a dance.”

“Oh hush now.” Peggy hissed, though Darcy could see a steady flush rise across her cheeks. Flustered, Peggy continued, “Steve’s quite shy so that wouldn’t happen, anyway.”

“Oh it’s _Steve_ , now is it?” Darcy asked with a smirk that made the SSR agent want to throw a shoe at her.

“Oh come now, you don’t see me needle you about Sargent Barnes, now do you?”

It was Darcy’s turn to stumble as she pinned back the last strand of unruly dark hair off her forehead.

“I don’t…what…what?”

“Don’t think I don’t see all the hidden glance between the two of you. I could cut the tension between you two with a butter knife.” Peggy slyly commented as she helped zip up Darcy’s sapphire blue dress.

“Oh Darcy,” she sighed as Darcy twirled around for her, “I knew this would fit you perfectly! We have quite the similar figure,” she nodded as her eyes ran over Darcy’s form appreciatively.

Peggy Carter had grown rather fond of Darcy Lewis in the short period of time she had known her for. She had a feeling it had to do with how little Darcy cared for the casual chauvinistic attitude men had in abundance in the Army. Darcy was loud, unapologetic and most importantly, she _understood_ that it was ok for women to be ambitious. That women had every right to be considered just as capable as men both in and out of the Army. They had been rooming together for the past week, which only further affirmed Peggy’s regard for Darcy.

“Ok…lets hit that dancefloor! Tonight is gonna be _lit_.”

Peggy laughed – Darcy was odd. She often used words that Peggy couldn’t quite put into context and her voice hitched in a sing song manner when she said certain phrases – like she was quoting them or something of the sort. Peggy didn’t understand. Darcy was odd, but she was kind and gentle, and a refreshing change from all this excess of testosterone at the base.

Darcy was _nervous_. This was the first time she was dressed in ‘old timey’ garb and, well, she was about to witness _history_. The Howling Commandos would be formed tonight and she got front row seats to it. _Good lord_ was this even her life?!

Bracing herself for tonight’s events, Darcy sighed, “Ok, cool. Let’s go.”

Peggy squinted, “Are you cold? I have this shawl-”

“No,” Darcy rolled her eyes with a playful sigh as she nudged Peggy out the door of their shared room, “It’s a figure of speech. Now beat it!”

“ _That_ , I understand.” Peggy muttered under her breath as she locked the door behind them.

The walk to the pub was a mere five minutes and before long, both women found themselves in a warm, enclosed, smoky joint, filled to the brim with drunk soldiers. _Oh and Captain America_ , in all his righteous glory. Darcy whistled low next to Peggy’s ear as they caught sight of him.

“Hubba hubba.”

Again, Peggy didn’t understand, but from Darcy’s tone, she got the gist of it. Rolling her eyes at Darcy’s teasing, yet unable to stop the blush rising on her face, _again_ , she huffed and all but stalked into the room. Darcy snorted and followed, not wanting to miss watching the good Captain’s jaw drop. Peggy was _hot_ and Darcy had a feeling she was feeling pretty ballsy tonight.

Darcy wasn’t disappointed – Captain America’s jaw did indeed drop but that’s not what caused a thrill to shoot up her spine…what _did_ cause it though, was his best friend’s rather piercing stare. Locking eyes with him, she didn’t back down either. His eyes really _were_ windows into his soul, she realised. He looked _worn out_ and…haunted. So this was where it started? She recognised that emptiness in his gaze – she had seen it in numerous videos, interviews, photographs, basically any propaganda from the future. Sure, it was more intense in her time but she could still see the beginnings of it now. She bit her lip rather hard as she clenched her fists, desperately trying _not_ to wrap her arms around him and drown him in her embrace. So lost in his gaze, she startled at Peggy clearing her throat rather sharply.

“What?” Darcy winced at the sudden breathy quality of her voice.

“I was just telling Steve here that I was considering going dancing.” Peggy’s eyes were taunting, like she was in on some big ass secret. Darcy scowled a little when she noticed a similarly amused look on Steve’s face.

“Well…the floor’s that way.” Darcy waved her hand vaguely in some direction, “I want me some whisky.”

“A whisky for the lady, please.” Bucky asked the bar tender, his gaze shifting between Steve and Darcy. Not a moment later Steve was ushering Peggy away, though the smug look on his face made Darcy want to punch his jaw. She wanted to shout at the two of them that nothing like _that_ was going on – she was just _concerned_ …and filled with guilt. But she couldn’t very well tell them that, so she stayed silent and took a seat on the barstool next to Bucky.

“You look stunnin’, Darcy,” There was a softness in his voice that she hadn’t known she had yearned to hear till this very moment. Her cheeks warmed rather wonderfully and Bucky smirked in delight, glad he could still atleast make her blush like before.

“So..uh… has enough time passed?” she blurted out, rather terribly. Small talk always sort of evaded her.

“Huh?”

“Are you…less _mad_ at me? are we…ok? I mean, not like a hundred per cent _ok_ , that’s crazy, I let you get captured by Hydra but like I mean, are we _ok_ enough to be friends and work together? You know, like you said in our last conversation, has enough time passed-”

Her words faded as she took in his perplexed expression. Clearing her throat, she nodded her thanks at the bar tender as he passed her a glass of whisky. Downing it in one go, she coughed at how _pungent_ the liquid tasted as it burned her throat. _Damn_ , alcohol was stronger in the past.

“Well say something,” she mumbled, feeling rather embarrassed at her rambling. Meanwhile Bucky just stared at the gorgeous girl sitting next to him. He had struggled this past week with reconciling his memory of her to who she was now and the fact that it was all backwards, timeline wise, really fucked with his head. The Darcy he knew in the past didn’t exist yet. The Darcy he knew in the past was affectionate with him, _hell_ , she seemed like she was half in love with him, and by god he had been falling in love with her too. His memory of her was the only thing that had kept him going through all that torture and experimentation. Every time he had closed his eyes at night, he had pictured her ocean blue eyes, her perfect cherry red smile and those lush curves he longed to run his hands over. She had been an _angel_ in his time of need, and she didn’t even know about it. He had waited so patiently for two years to see her again, upon her instruction, but never had he imagined he’d feel this…disgruntled upon meeting her again. She didn’t _remember_ him. She didn’t remember the nights they had spent lying on the training field, simply talking, or the times he had purposely gotten injured just so she could nurse his wounds. She didn’t remember all his silly excuses he’d make up just to stay a little longer in her presence and how it had made her laugh so much. She just didn’t seem like the same Darcy – and she _wasn’t_ , so Bucky had resolved to keep his distance from her. It was just too painful and plain _weird_ to be around her…except…well, he was beginning to see similarities now. The way she just rambled on there and the way she had been so playfully teasing Peggy about Steve – he wasn’t meant to hear that, they were so far away, but his ears had picked it up – all of that reminded him of the _old_ Darcy.

“..clearly I’m not wanted here..”

His eyes widened and his hand shot out to grab hers as he realised she was about to leave. Those pretty blue eyes of hers stared into his and he felt a little breathless.

“I…Darce…this is hard for me. You gotta understand. We _knew_ each other in 1941 and now you just…you don’t remember me. It’s…”

“I’m sorry!” Her face twisted in genuine upset, “but there’s nothing I can do about that Sarg- Bucky…James?”

“Bucky’s fine, doll.” He huffed a small laugh, then shot a quick prayer for God to save his soul as he dived head first into what he’d know could only ever end painfully, “How bout we get to know each other again? You know, like friends?”


	4. Four

** Chapter 4 **

“Tell me something about the future.”

Darcy smiled wanly as her eyes ran over frayed tips of hair, shabby stubble and the scab over his right pectoral that was _just_ visible through the V of his shirt. This was a treasured game of theirs of late. Whenever he was at his lowest and in need of some cheering up, he’d ask her to tell him something about the future. She replied back with inane details and silly things that people would come to take for granted but he was always in awe of it all. His eyes would sparkle, his jaw would fall a little loose and he’d throw his head back laughing like a little child, full of mirth and exuberance. And just like that, just for a minute, the both of them would forget about their troubles and focus on the _here_ and _now_.

“Microwaves.”

“What waves?” His face scrunched up rather adorably as his features shifted into what Darcy would call his ‘attentive’ face. Chuckling softly, she explained the purpose of the machine that personally kept her alive.

“It’s basically a box, about ye big-” Her hands gestured to the width and height of a basic microwave, “it’s a kitchen appliance that cooks food by passing an electromagnetic wave through it. It’s great! Within minutes you can cook almost anything. Chicken, fish…you can make coffee in it errrmm oohh! And pop tarts.”

“So you don’t need gas in the future?” Bucky asked, ever the curious soul.

“Oh no…no…well, we don’t need it as much as you guys use it now. That’s a whole other topic for another day. The main purpose of microwaves is to reheat food super fast or to cook ready-made meals that come in sealed containers that supermarkets sell.”

Bucky eyed her carefully before his lips stretched to a soft smirk, “You can’t cook, can ya doll?”

She scoffed, mightily offended, “I’ll have you know, Buchannan, I can so cook! Best enchiladas you’ll ever eat in your life.”

“En- _what_?”

“Ergh” She rolled her eyes, “Trust me, you’ll find out one day.”

“So I’m gonna live long enough to find out, huh?”

Darcy blinked, unimpressed. Bucky never pushed about the future. It was one of the things she admired about him – his ability to read the room…to know when to back off and lay low yet not be a pushover.

“Enchiladas are Mexican. They exist even now…just south of the border, pal.”

“So you live in Mexico in the future?” His fingers fidgeted and his eyes shifted as he leant against the railing of the veranda they were stood on.

“Nope..but America’s a lot more culturally diverse in the future so you don’t gotta be from somewhere or live somewhere just to taste the local food”

He grinned, his pearly whites on display and she found herself stepping closer absentmindedly.

“What?” she asked, a confused pout marring her face as she tugged the blanket around her shoulders a little tighter.

“Nothin’” His tone was impish and smug, causing her to roll her eyes.

“Bucky Barnes…” She warned, making him laugh loud and clear.

“Was just thinkin doll…you’re startin’ to talk like me.”

A soft blush stained her cheeks as she sniffed, “Why’s it gotta be you? Could be Stevie. You’re both from Brooklyn.

Bucky cocked his head to the side, his smile dropping a little as he humoured her, “You got a crush on him, Doll?”

“ _I_ spend _all_ day with Howard Stark, experimenting and designing armour and weapons for _your_ missions. I’d be careful about throwing around salacious accusations like that if I were you. Wouldn’t want your armour to be pink, now would you?”

He was laughing again; his eyes crinkling at the sides and his chest vibrating. He held his hands up in surrender, laughter causing him to lean closer ever so slightly.

“Fine…fine doll, you win-”

“That I do,” she interrupted, “now are you gonna let me check on that cut of yours?” She didn’t wait for a reply as she tugged on his arm and lead him through to the corridors of the hotel they were all staying at. Howard had taken one look at their previous living quarters – the hostel in Kings Cross – and had deemed it unworthy, promptly shifting them all to a rather luxurious hotel he had just purchased. He made some noise about it being a fabulous hide out – ‘ _We’ll be hiding in plain sight Colonel. Think about it!!’_ Frankly, Darcy didn’t think Colonel Phillips had it in him to handle all of the 107th, Peggy Carter _and_ Howard Stark, so begrudgingly, he had given in. Thus the Claridge’s in Mayfair became the new SSR base. Howard had converted the whole of the first floor into his workshop, the second floor was where all the ‘top secret’ meetings took place and the third and fourth floors were living quarters.

“You’re not takin me to your room are you Ma’am?” Bucky asked cheekily and Darcy struggled not to preen and giggle at his flirting. This was another thing they had started.

“I’m a good Catholic boy Ma’am, I won’t have you tarnishing my reputation- Ow! Darcy” He huffed as she whacked his chest, pushing him into her room.

“Good Catholic boy my ass, I’ve read the stories Barnes. You were a Casanova back in the day”

“ _Were_?” He huffed, indignant, making her giggle aloud.

“Fine, _fine_ , oh King of Womanising, you’re _still_ a Casanova– now sit and let me take care of that.”

“What’s the point?” He mumbled lightly though he obeyed and sat on her bed as she quickly gathered first aid materials.

“It’s scabbed over Darce-”

“Oh I wasn’t talking about the scabbed over ones,” she interrupted sharply, her eyes glaring at him. He bit his tongue, his eyes falling to his lap.

Sighing, she pushed her way into the space between his outstretched legs.

“You can’t keep hiding your cuts and bruises, Bucky.”

“I can’t go to the nurses either, Darcy.” He growled, “I don’t want anyone finding out-”

“That you heal faster now? That you’re like Steve?”

“I’m _not_ though, am I?” He snapped, his hand enclosing around her wrist, preventing her from unbuttoning his shirt. His grip was firm enough to cause discomfort, which she worked hard not to show but he sensed it rather quickly. His hand dropped form hers abruptly and his eyes widened in horror.

“Shit, Darce- sorry I..”

“You didn’t hurt me, Bucky.” She shook her head resolutely, “You just…” she sighed again, her eyes boring into his, filled with sympathy. He _hated_ when she got that look in her eyes. It reminded him of being _less_ \- Of not being _whole_.

“Bucky Barnes.” She mumbled, her fingers running gently across the curve of his jawline, “I wish you’d see yourself the way I see you.”

He tensed so abruptly, all at once, like every muscle in his body had cemented itself in place the moment he heard those words from her lips. They were familiar words – he’d know…he’d said them to her before. In a time she hadn’t lived through yet. A ragged breath left his lungs ever so slowly as he watched her unbutton his shirt.

“Bucky!” she scolded as her eyes fell on the large yellowing bruise blooming across his ribcage. Her angry mutterings were lost to him as he watched her nimble fingers applying ointment and dressing his bruise.

“Barely hurts doll.” He tried assuring her but she was having none of it.

“Shoulda seen the other guy” he joked lamely to which she rolled her eyes and muttered, “Considering he’s HYDRA, I would hope he’s dead by now.”

“You should have come to me yesterday.” She continued ranting, “I need to make it a point to check you over as soon as you return from your missions – Bucky I’m serious! Come straight to me next time”

“You just want an excuse to put your hands on me,” he tried evading, all smooth charm and smiles. Tugging his ear lobe, she tipped his head up and decided to give him as good as she got, “You tellin’ me I need an _excuse_ for that, Barnes?”

A slow smirk stretched across his lips, his eyes glimmering with excitement, causing her stomach to churn and flutter.

His lips barely moved as words escaped in a whisper, “Anytime, Doll.”

Darcy blushed furiously, pursing her lips to hide her grin as she continued patching him up. Something was happening…something odd and unexpected but somehow, it didn’t feel all that unfamiliar. It felt like…like _this_ was exactly what was supposed to happen - like it had happened before and would happen again and again. It stole Darcy’s breath away and put her on edge but for all the ways it made her cautious, it never once made her want to stop.

~*~*~*~

**_One Month Later_ **

“Tell me something about the future..” He rasped as he looked at her through exhausted eyes.

Their shoulders brushed as she turned her head to look at him. They had been standing silently, gazing out into the night, for the better part of an hour. She could tell he was still processing details from his last mission. She’d heard enough of his screaming at night to know he wasn’t adjusting well enough to the serum in his veins _or_ the horrors of whatever he was seeing on each mission; in each HYDRA base the 107 th destroyed.

“Fitbits…”

He snorted. Everything she came out with just sounded so _quaint_.

“What does it do?”

“Fitbits are like bracelets or watches that measure your heartrate and your movement so they can calculate how many steps you’ve taken in a day”

He shot her a look of incredulity, making her mouth stretch into a grin.

“Yeah, I know…It used to be all the rage a couple of years ago. Well,” her brows crinkled as she corrected herself, “A couple of years ago from the time I left, in the future… _Basically_ , obesity was kind of becoming a problem in America so loads of products started coming out to encourage people to become fit ya know?”

Releasing a deep sigh, he ran his fingers through his hair as he fell back onto the blanket she had laid out for them. His eyes glanced at her form, still seated beside him as he spoke, “The future sure sounds nice and cushy.”

She giggled, “It was…at one point.”

He was silent again as his gaze returned to the inky night sky however Darcy kept her eyes glued to him. They roved the threadbare tshirt he was wearing, the callouses on his palms, the smooth skin on his jaw line and the weariness sunken into his features. He had just shaved. She found it mighty odd, considering he had just returned from a mission a day ago. His usual routine was to brood around alone till she forced a visit upon him. He usually looked a state, before she convinced him to let her patch him up, convinced him to get a haircut and shave. He seemed to have done it all himself already.

“You want a picture, doll? It’ll last longer.” He drawled, his lips twisting to a teasing smirk as his eyes darkened. She rolled her eyes at him, somewhat used to his flirting - _used to_ , not _unaffected_ \- as suggested by the pinking of her cheeks.

“You shaved.” She murmured, ignoring his last comment. His eyes flashed to hers for a brief second before he returned, “Thought you’d appreciate it.”

Leaning back, she joined him, outstretched on the blanket.

“Liar,” she chuckled, “Steve shouted at you didn’t he?”

A deep scowl marred his face for a quick second as ‘ _punk_ ’ escaped his lips.

“How’s working with Howard going?”

“How was the mission?” she countered, disregarding his unsubtle change of topic. She didn’t walk on eggshells around him and while he liked that, he also found it a whole lot frustrating.

“Darcy…” he groaned as his large hands covered his face, rubbing furiously at his eyes, as if he were trying to erase what he’d seen.

“Bucky..” she whispered, leaning over him, taking his hands into hers and pulling them away. The sheer warmth in her baby blues caused a murmur in his heartbeat.

“I hear you at night you know…” she confessed as her thumbs ran lines along his forehead and his brow bones. He swallowed thickly, unable to break her gaze.

“I’m sorry.”

“ _Don’t_.” He snapped, “I can’t have you feelin’ sorry for me Doll. Not you.”

She blinked in astonishment, then in utter sadness, “It’s not _pity_ I feel towards you Buck…surely you know that.”

“I know..” he agreed, his head nodding as his fingers entwined in hers. This was the closest they’d been…the closest they’d ever gotten and Bucky was hesitant to go further. Darcy, however, seemed to have made up her mind. Pressing a lingering kiss to his forehead, she spoke softly to him, “Come find me the next time you can’t sleep.” And with those parting words, she rose to her feet and left.

\----

He didn’t go to her. He couldn’t. Not when he felt his worst – his _weakest_. Sheets twisted around his torso, clinging to his sweat drenched body as he buried his face into several pillows, hoping to muffle groans of pain escaping his lips. He felt sick to his stomach but aside from dry heaving, nothing left his stomach. The serum was making his blood run hot and cold, twisting his mind, making it difficult to distinguish between nightmares and reality. Then again, reality was just as horrid as his nightmares lately – he shuddered as he recalled his last mission – the concentration camp the Commandos broke into and the prisoners they all freed. There were _children_ in there – children being experimented on. It made Bucky livid, to the point where Steve had to pull him aside and have a word with him about his brooding. Steve had also yelled at him to ‘ _goddamn shave_ ’, in the same ‘talk’ they had which had led to Bucky doing so rather reluctantly. It didn’t escape his notice how Darcy’s eyes had widened upon seeing him clean shaven though. He had felt a lurch in his stomach, the intensity of which almost rivalled what he used to feel whenever he spoke to her back in Wisconsin a couple years ago.

The more time Bucky spent with Darcy, the less he found himself _caring_ about what she ‘used’ to be like compared to what she’s like now. Everything about her fascinated him still – it didn’t really matter to him anymore that the things he found endearing about her were _different_ this time around. She was still _Darcy_. She still flushed whenever he flirted with her, her eyes still pierced through him every time he tried lying to her by telling her he was doing ‘just fine’. She still smelled the same…her touch was still just as gentle…and her smile…goddamn…her smile still melted his heart just the same.

It was ironic, really, but the more Bucky enjoyed spending time with Darcy, the less he allowed himself to spend time with her. The more he felt for her, the more he tried to suppress his feelings because really, what was the damn point? She wasn’t from his time and he wasn’t from hers. He didn’t know when he’d see her again – perhaps Wisconsin had been the last time and his heart couldn’t bear anymore disappointments. So he tried not to go to her after missions – tried not to talk to her about things that _mattered_..*tried* being the imperative word here…

They’d talk about something inane and silly but as ink filled the night skies, she’d coax confessions out of him. She’d tell him about her future and he’d get lost in the wonder of it all…in the wonder of _her_ and he’d find himself telling her small details of his past, of his dreams in the present and of his hopes for the future – for _his_ future, he had to repeatedly remind himself – because they didn’t share the same future. Not really – she was almost a century ahead of him and _that_ right there was exactly what stopped him every single damn time. It stopped him from tightening his arms around her, from nuzzling his face into her neck, from burying his fingers in her thick, dark curls and from pressing his lips upon hers. He wasn’t naïve – he had picked up on her signals fairly early on and as much as he had stopped trying to encourage her, he found himself leaning into her hold for the sake of preserving what little sanity he had left.

A soft knock on his room door disrupted his rather gloomy train of thoughts. Pulling on trousers, his feet moved lethargically towards the door, his heart heavy as he already knew who would be on the other end of it.

“Darcy,” His voice croaked as he spoke and he watched her wince, blue eyes crinkling as they roved his figure.

“D-”

“C’mon-” she interrupted his attempted protests as she entered his room, closed the door and tugged him towards his bed.

“You’ve been screaming like a banshee. Honestly, it’s a surprise I’m the only one that’s knocked on your door.”

“It’s not that surprising,” he grumbled, redness tinting his cheeks. Everyone knew what shellshock was like. None of the guys would dare bring it up in person – except maybe Steve, but Bucky guessed he looked pathetic enough that even _Steve_ hadn’t thought it wise to broach that topic with him yet.

“You’re uh…not wearing a shirt,” Darcy’s voice squeaked a little towards the end and Bucky couldn’t help the smirk that stretched across his lips.

“I don’t usually wear pants to sleep either Darce,” he taunted and joined her on his bed where she’d made herself at home. He snorted at the stunned look on her face as his form plonked on the mattress beside her. It was a comfortable fit – the hotel beds were double.

“Lie down…here,” she pushed him back, fingertips cool on his shoulders. He only just noticed the rag in her hands as she leant over him and started pressing it to his forehead. He hissed in relief at the icy coldness of it, his eyes closing automatically. Minutes passed in silence and the tenseness in his shoulders started to dissipate. Soft fingertips danced across his cheekbones, tracing his smile lines and the cut of his jaw. He couldn’t find it in himself to pull away or even tease her about her affectionate gestures. In truth, it soothed him. _She_ soothed him and if _this_ was as far as he could ever go with her then he’d milk it for all it was worth.

So with a ghost of a sigh, he turned to his side and shifted his head in her lap. Her fingers ruffled through the sweaty mess that his hair was, as her lilting hums stroked him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all your wonderful comments - truly very motivating! This chapter was a build up yet also the calm before the storm. Things will be picking up pretty quickly after this chapter. I can't *wait* for you guys to read the next one. Any thoughts/ comments/ anything you're like to see (i.e. anyone else's perspective in the chapters), let me know!
> 
> -Sam


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the late update but I really struggled with this chapter! it was a tough one to write, simply because life got in the way and left me little to no time for inspiration. The story's on track again though and i've already started writing the next chapter so it shouldn't be such a long wait this time around.
> 
> I've been reading all your comments and I can't tell you how happy they make me! So once again, thanks a million for all your support and love, it's massively encouraging.
> 
> PS. Season 4 of 12 monkeys has aired and I am so *pumped*

** Chapter 5 **

Darcy Lewis wasn’t a quitter. She didn’t quit when her Parents were murdered, she didn’t quit when she was orphaned and left to fend for herself on the streets and she most certain didn’t quit when told she might have to go back in time to save the world…so it was a complete no brainer for her to, with all her might, attempt to convince the Colonel to let her join the 107th on their next mission.

She had been present in the room when the 107th and the Colonel were discussing their next mission with Howard so he could help with the logistics of it all. At first she minded her own business and continued proof reading Howard’s calculations (it seemed all scientists come geniuses suffered from the malady that was _crap_ handwriting.), but all the blood seemed to freeze in her veins as she heard the mission was to ambush a freight train. Panic filled her to the brim as she frantically sought Bucky’s eyes. He looked quizzically at her for a second before joining in the conversation again. Darcy strained to listen to the entire conversation but the Colonel cleared his throat and raised a sharp eyebrow at her.

“Perhaps we should have this conversation in more _private_ areas?”

“Nonsense,” Howard jumped to Darcy’s defence before she could even begin to feel affronted.

“Darcy is my Cousin and Sergeant Barnes’ girl-”

Darcy grew beet red and sunk in her chair a little at those words.

“There’s no _way_ she’s a Hydra mole”

“Oh stop being so dramatic, Mr. Stark. I wasn’t suggesting Miss Lewis is a Hydra mole. She isn’t a member of the SSR or the US Military so I was simply concerned with ensuring we maintained secrecy on-”

“What _secrecy_ ,” Howard snorted, interrupting Colonel Phillips, much to his annoyance.

“Darcy helps design all the armour and weaponry for the 107th _and_ Sargent Barnes tells her all of this _anyway_.”

Upon Bucky’s piercing glare, Howard simply shrugged his shoulders, “Well, I’m assuming you do- I’ve seen you two talk on the roof - what else could there _possibly_ be for you to talk about for so _many_ hours?”

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Bucky growled, “but there are plenty of things _friends_ can talk about, especially during times like these.”

It stung her quite deeply, the way Bucky all but hissed out ‘friends’ in front of everyone – like he wouldn’t be caught dead with her.

However, Darcy had never been one for letting others speak on her behalf, so she promptly stood up, shrugged at the Colonel and left the room. She had much more pressing matters to turn her mind towards – namely the fact that, according to her knowledge of events, the ambush of the Freight train didn’t occur for another 10 months or so…the ambush that caused Steve to fall off the train – so why was it happening now? Was it even the same ambush and the same train? Or was it a different mission altogether? And if it was, how come there wasn’t anything written about it in any of the history books she had thoroughly read through before coming here?

Darcy felt a sharp headache announcing itself as she took a seat in her office. Forehead thudding on her wooden desk, she wondered if her coming here was causing changes to the timeline somehow…and the worst part was that her only way of finding out was to go on the mission. She chuckled mirthlessly to herself; she could almost picture the vehement ‘NO’ from Colonel Phillips to her request. No…she’d have to go about this sneakily. She’d have to enlist Howard Stark’s help.

\---

“You have that look in your eye.” Bucky chuckled as he sat in the empty seat next to her at dinner. It was some kind of unspoken agreement that they always sat next to each other at Dinner and Darcy got butterflies every single time Bucky Barnes joined her side, despite having his own gaggle of fan girls (the receptionists and female assistants to officers) waving for him at another table. Bucky’s quiet presence this night though, didn’t excite her as it usually did. In fact it seemed to bubble up a certain kind of bitterness in her. She felt like all the comfort they had provided each other for the past few months was all for nought – he still loved the _other_ Darcy and…She choked a little on her own thoughts. Her mind had apparently decided Bucky _loved_ a version of her self that was yet to exist and she was what… _bitter_ about it? _Why_?

_Because you want him all for yourself._

“You look a million miles away, Doll.”

“Bucky.” She sighed deeply, her head twisting sharply to face him, “I’m coming on this mission with you all.”

Bucky’s eyes widened for a brief second before he was opening his mouth to, what she assumed, disagree strongly. She interrupted him before he could so much as breath though- “Before you say anything, just know that this is _vital_ to the end goal – saving Steve – so you should just be a supportive _friend_ and vouch for me when I speak to Colonel Phillips.”

She could see Bucky wincing as she hissed out ‘ _friend’_. Good, she thought to herself as she finished eating and cleared her plate off the table. He waited a beat before taking off after her, food uneaten and wasted.

“Darce…” he caught hold of her wrist as she attempted to escape upstairs.

“You can’t possibly think of coming with us.”

“Why not?!” She huffed, “because I’m a _girl_? Because let me tell you-”

“Doll no,” He quietened her protests by stepping incredibly close to her, towering over her figure and hiding her from curious eyes that had followed the pair of them to the canteen doors.

“Got nothin’ to do with that and you _know_ it.” His voice dropped to a growl and she had to make a conscious effort to focus on his words rather than his _tone_.

“Why is it suddenly so important for you to come along anyway?”

“Because I didn’t _read_ about this mission before I came here, Bucky.” She explained frantically, “so it means something I’ve done has caused a ripple effect and this mission is the result of it.”

Bucky’s brows furrowed as he pondered on her words, “It could also be that you just missed it.”

Darcy blinked, momentarily pausing, before shaking her head in annoyance, “I didn’t miss anything. I was very thorough. Besides, FRIDAY found all of the files so-”

“Look I know you keep telling me about this _magical_ AI but It could have missed a few files or maybe It couldn’t access it or maybe the file itself was erased”

“FRIDAY isn’t an ‘it’”, Darcy spat in frustration, “and saying she missed something is like saying Tony missed it which is frankly not possible-”

“You didn’t change anything Darce!” Bucky snapped, frustrated, “What could you have possibly done to change anything? You’ve had no impact on any of our lives to change _anything_.”

The brashness of his words caused her to take a step back as she fell silent. He blinked rapidly, his eyes narrowing and his head shaking furiously as he thought about how _mean_ his words had come across as.

“I didn’t- that’s not…I’m just saying…Darce. Doll. I don’t think you did anything to alter the timeline… _yet_. But I’m worried for ya Doll. What if you coming on this mission really _does_ change stuff? What if you get hurt? I couldn’t…that…” A lump formed in his throat as flashes ran through his mind – as his nightmares came alive like a film reel playing in his mind – visions of her getting shot, of her dying…

“You aren’t combat ready. You don’t even know how to shoot-” His hands rose to frame her face, his thumbs brushing across her cheekbones soothingly as he tried to convey how much she meant to him.

“I can be mission support.” Darcy blurted, “I’ve done that _plenty_ of times before. Howard and I can be your drop off and pick up guys and I can be in charge of radio comms- I encrypted the channel frequencies _anyway_ -”

Bucky huffed, again using his height to his advantage as he loomed over her, his head bowing so he was closer still. His eyes were narrow though, the blue in them sharper than ever as he stared at her- clearly unhappy at the turn of events.

“What’ll it take Buck?” she pleaded, “What’ll it take to make you see that I can do this! I travelled back in time for the sole purpose of making sure Steve didn’t get captured by Hydra. You need to _trust_ me.”

“This has got nothing to do with trust Darcy. I trust you- you _know_ I do.”

“Then what’s the problem? Steve’s the most important person to you and I’m telling you he could be in _real_ danger. Let me _help_.”

As he stared into her wide doe eyes, he couldn’t help but believe she truly thought she could make a difference. His heart still stuttered though, at the thought of letting her come out there with him and Steve and the other Commandos on a mission. He also knew she was as stubborn as Steve, which meant she wouldn’t give up – even if it meant she had to sneak onto their transport.

Biting his lip, he shook his head and sighed, “You won’t give up will ya?”

She shook her head slowly, eyes not dropping from his as she waited for him to give in.

“I’ll back you…” he began slowly, “but only if you promise to stay with Howard on the aeroplane.”

Darcy’s eyes widened in surprise. She didn’t think it’d be this easy to convince Bucky but she wasn’t exactly going to look a gift horse in its mouth. A chuffed giggle escaped her mouth as she all but leapt into his arms and hugged him. Taken aback a little, he cleared his throat as his arms hesitantly wrapped around her shoulders and the small of her back. He was still very aware of how exposed in public they were, despite her not seeming to give a damn.

“Ok. I’ll bring it up in the meeting this afternoon. I’ll speak to Peggy and you speak to Steve. I don’t want the Colonel to have any doubts that I can’t do this-”

“Leave it with me Doll.” He sighed, “I’ll convince Colonel Phillips to let you come on as Howard’s assistant. I’ll say you’ve had nurse training too so it’d be good to have you along in case of emergencies.

Brimming with relief, Darcy’s grin was all teeth, “Bucky, you’re the _best_.”

He felt like a cheater. Like a fucking _coward_ , but he knew it was the right thing to do.

*-*-*-*

**_That evening_ **

“You sure you wanna do this Buck? Lying to Miss. Lewis don’t seem right”, Steve asked as he loaded his backpack onto Howard’s plane.

“It was the only way, Punk. She was damned convinced she had to come on this mission.” Bucky grumbled.

“Why now?” Steve’s brows furrowed, “She’s never asked to assist on any of the other missions…not like Peggy has.”

Bucky shot his best friend a sly smirk, “Peggy eh?”

“Oh knock it off,” Steve huffed, his shoulder knocking into Bucky’s. Dum Dum looked on in amusement at the two of them as they all buckled in.

“Darcy said something about encrypted radio waves,” Bucky lied easily and Steve shrugged. It was beginning to worry Bucky how easy it was becoming to lie to Steve but he pushed those thoughts aside as he banged on the side of the plane.

“All ready back here Mr. Stark.”

“Roger that Sargent. Wheels up in 5…4..3..”

Bucky sucked in a deep breath as the plane began moving and taking flight. They were leaving under the cover of darkness so as not to alert their enemies of their departure or arrival. He only hoped Darcy could see reason behind his decision to go behind her back this way. He hoped she didn’t see it as a betrayal…but knowing her, he guessed she would.

And then it suddenly dawned on him…the look he often saw in her eyes when he’d known her in Wisconsin; always so sceptical of his motives, always so thorough in questioning him before she truly believed him - he knew why now. Scoffing to himself, he glanced out at the black, black sky, as he muttered under his breath, ‘ _Irony at its finest_.’

\---

 

When Peggy pulled Darcy aside to tell her, with a solemn face, that the Commandos has already left for their mission, Darcy was aghast. She was perplexed for a split second, her wide blue eyes blinking rapidly, before she felt her stomach swoop at the realisation that Bucky has _lied_ to her. Bucky has all but _snuck_ out from under her nose and she felt the bitterness of betrayal so strongly, it nearly made her sick. Glaring holes into the floor for a good few seconds, Darcy ignored Peggy’s calls as she stomped off. For _days_ she paced and worried and excluded herself from everyone else. She poured over past mission logs (the ones she could steal from Colonel Phillip’s desk when she went in to show him some of her new armour designs) in hopes of finding some sort of clue as to _where_ this current mission even sprouted from – but alas, she couldn’t find anything leading up to it; no trail of co-ordinates, no mentions of it in Steve’s previous briefings, no paper trail of any sorts. It baffled her and frankly, scared her. She knew this mission wasn’t _the one_ – the one where Cap fell off the train…but what if this mission held some other significance in the timeline? What if this mission was the catalyst of some other as yet unforeseen tragedy? Travelling to the past had scared Darcy…but not knowing what the future was, terrified her.

Somehow the days passed slowly – even Howard’s silly attempts at making Darcy laugh were failing and by the time a fortnight was up, Darcy was downright miserable. Her emotions were a vicious cycle of anger, pain and self pity. It was rather pathetic that she was moping over someone who clearly didn’t care enough to _tell_ her he was leaving. Darcy knew Bucky’s future but _Bucky_ didn’t know what his future held! As far as he knew, any day could have been his last and it frustrated Darcy that he was so careless about it – that he didn’t even say _goodbye_.

“Darcy” Peggy’s waspish snap pulled her out of her stewing.

“They’re back.”

Darcy stared at her comrade for a long moment. Both of them shared such _understanding_ in one glance, it was truly incredible how they could communicate without any words necessary. Then again, they were both being forced to stay back and watch their loved ones head off to Battle, every single time, and they were both helpless – they couldn’t help their men and neither could they help fight for their country. Darcy nodded sharply and rose up, her feet carrying her out without her explicit notice. Darcy, with single minded focus, marched on down the stairs and into the lobby, towards the cheers and the crowd gathering at the base of the hotel. One glance, she told herself…one glance was all she needed of Bucky, before she retired back into her room…and when she finally caught his gaze, a sliver of ice in between cracks in the crowd, she felt her breath freeze in her lungs. He looked _haunted_ \- like he had witnessed death and hell. And as much as Darcy thought she’d ignore him…that she’d sulk and grouse and yell…she was unable to stop her feet from carrying her forwards; closer to him. It was like the parting of the red sea, as she made her way to him. The chattering of the crowd dying down in her ears, till all she could narrow in on was Bucky’s ragged breathing. She didn’t give him half a chance, as she invaded his space, cupped his face in both her hands and pulled him down to find solace against her lips.

He didn’t so much as flinch in hesitation, his body simply slumping into hers, his arms tugged her tighter against him as he simply _took_ from her.

\---

 

She wasn’t expecting the knock against her door…not at this hour. She knew who it was though – it was fairly obvious. However she was still surprised. After she had kissed Bucky and held him in the embrace of her arms for a few savoured minutes, she had calmly pulled back and, looking him in the eyes, told him ‘ _You shouldn’t have left me behind’._

That was it. That was all she had told him. And then she was gone. He had tried following her however the Colonel called for a briefing, so Bucky was pulled away. He hoped to see her at Dinner however she never showed and when he went to her office, aside from a stack of cards on her desk with illegible handwriting sprawled across, he found it empty. He had knocked on her room door too but to no avail – and so Bucky had retreated to his room. He had tried to put himself to sleep but the mission and the kiss and _God, Darcy_ …his mind was running rampant with conflicting images of violence and flames and the softest pair of lips he’d ever had the luxury of tasting. He had dreamed of this for years now and somehow still, the reality of it had been much better than even his wildest, most intimate fantasy. And all it was, was a touch of lips. In that one moment, she had conveyed exactly how she had felt about him and while it thrilled him, it also petrified him. He wasn’t a fool – though she had kissed him, he knew it was purely to comfort. He knew he was in trouble – that she wasn’t anywhere remotely close to forgiving him. He’d have to grovel and he’d have to make things right…no time like present, right?

He sighed deeply as she opened the door and leant against it, piercing blue eyes wandering his form. He could see worry pinch her brows and a quiet voice inside his head cheered. She still _cares,_ it reminded him.

“Yes?” she asked, her voice taking on an unusual hardness.

“I…” his voice cracked a little. Clearing his throat, he ran tired hands through his shaggy hair. It had grown just a little too long again; brown strands flopping over his forehead and eyes in an irritating manner.

“I’m sorry.” He blurted out, all at once, unable to bear the guilt anymore. “I know you’re upset. I know what I did was…was wrong but Doll if anything ever happened to you cos I couldn’t watch your back on a mission…I…” the words seemed to dry on his tongue, his throat clogging up a little as he thought of Darcy getting captured by Hydra. It was a thing of nightmares.

“I didn’t do it to hurt you or to betray you-”

“But you did.” She stated quite plainly. Her voice was levelled and calm, and that scared Bucky more than any of her yelling ever could.

“You did hurt me and you _did_ betray me. I’d have preferred if you had argued with me, disagreed with me and then gone on your mission overnight. But you _lied_ , Bucky, and where I’m from, friends don’t _lie_ to each other. Friends don’t…” she licked her lips, a nervous habit she couldn’t get rid of, as she spoke, “friends don’t leave without saying goodbye.” Her eyes shot to his again and he felt his stomach drop at watching her unshed tears.

“I already told you I hadn’t read about this mission- which means it’s something that’s happening in this timeline as a ripple effect. Anything could have happened on this mission Bucky. You could have been captured, or killed and- and-”

“It wasn’t a new mission.” He shook his head, stepping closer to her. “It’s classified. You wouldn’t have read about it because a file on it doesn’t exit. Never will.”

Darcy’s brows furrowed, her curiosity overweighing her feelings of betrayal. She stepped aside and let him in her room.

He sighed deeply again as he sat on her bed, elbows resting on his knees, hands raking through his hair, as he spoke, “The Commandoes and I told Colonel Phillips but he instructed for it to not be on record. What we saw in the Hydra base camp…what we did…the world can’t ever know, Darcy.”

“But you’ll tell me?”

He couldn’t quite figure out if there was doubt in her voice or trepidation. Either way, it cracked his heart a little to know she felt she couldn’t trust him.

“I don’t want to ever lie to you again, Doll.” He gulped, his eyes glassy as he held his hand out for her to reach.  She stared at it for a long moment, before sighing and placing her palm in his. She let him pull her into the space beside him on the bed, as he spoke.

“Arnim Zola was using the base to experiment on children.” He felt sick as he recalled the mission, “There weren’t many guards left, Zola must have just closed the base down and moved, so it was easy enough for us to clean up the place but we…we caught this one guard and made him speak. He told us what the base had been used for. _Kids_ , Darce. Jewish kids taken from their parents, forced to work in the facility and then being experimented on. The guard said Zola was experimenting with some cube – Terra- tes..something”

“ _Tesseract_ ”, Darcy whispered, her eyes wide. She had only ever read about the Tesseract being used to create advanced weaponry. Never about it being used to enhance humans.

“Yeah.” Bucky looked at her with a weary gaze, “The kids...they were still there. They were supposed to be transported to Zola’s new facility in a couple more days. It was lucky we got there in time…” He shook as he told her the next part, “it was like they were all...there…but _gone_. Their eyes were…they were black and hollowed. It was like they weren’t even aware of what they were doing. They attacked us – they were strong, Darce. Stronger than what you’d expect 12 year old kids to be. One of em nearly knocked Steve on his ass. We tried to restrain them, to reason with them – we spoke in German, French, English – but it was like they couldn’t hear us. Steve said to keep…to keep trying but I got scared. One of em nearly had Steve. Nearly killed him so I shot one of them in the head. And then it was like some sort of switch just flipped in all of them. They set fire to the facility and forced us out. They killed themselves.”

His eyes shut as his mind replayed the screams he heard as the children burned.

“The screamed so loud. The fire or nearly dying must have rid them of the mind control or whatever but they…they were screaming and we couldn’t do nothing ‘bout it. We stayed there, till every last scream had died down…and it was only then that we realised what they’d done….destroyed every last piece of evidence of their existence. Destroyed the files, destroyed the Hydra guards, and destroyed themselves…all because I killed one of them. I lost faith. Didn’t think they were human anymore but when then screamed, Darce…all I could think of was that I had killed thirteen kids.”

His hands shook so hard, as he admitted his greatest sin to her. Tears flowed down his eyes, and his voice all but gave up on him. He hadn’t even told Steve he had felt this way about the mission but with Darcy, he felt like the only way he could make it up to her was to tell her the absolute truth…even the truths he hadn’t admitted to himself yet either. He was a _monster_ , and this time it had nothing to do with Zola.

Then he felt her lips on his cheek, sucking his tears away. Kisses against his eyelids, his brows, his ears, his jaw.

“Darcy-”

“ _No_.” Her voice sounded choked and it forced him to open his eyes. She was crying too.

“You _aren’t_ a monster, James Buchannan Barnes and this is _not_ your fault. Don’t say that, don’t _ever_ say that.” Her words were clear, despite her hiccupped crying as she launched herself at him, her legs straddling his hips, her arms wrapped tight around his neck and her head buried in the crook of his neck. She placed kisses against the column of his neck now, making her way up to his chin, finally settling on his lips. There wasn’t a shred of hesitance in her actions, only a promise of utter trust and comfort. So once again, Bucky simply _took_ from her.


	6. Six

** Chapter 6 **

Her kisses were feverish as she endeavoured to take away all his pain, and leave him with feelings of only love, trust and understanding. She felt so goddamn helpless and she was _sick_ of it. She couldn’t help out in missions, she couldn’t prevent Bucky from his fate but she’d be damned if she didn’t atleast try to make his moments with her the happiest moments they possible could be.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I was upset and that I thought you’d betrayed me-”

“No, _god,_ doll, you’re not wrong. I shouldn’t have lied.” His words were half swallowed as she kissed his now swollen lips, but he managed to push them out of his mouth anyway.

“I shouldn’t have kept pushing you away-” He confessed as he pulled away from her, storm blue meeting paler eyes.

“I know why you did it.” She muttered, her hands cupping his jaw, thumb rubbing across his scruff. “And I understand. I might not be here after we save Steve from falling off the train but for the time that I _am_ here, I just…I want to be there for you. I want to share your burdens, your secrets, your unfounded guilt, your pain…I…want to help, Bucky. Will you let me help you? Please?”

He was silent for a long moment, simply staring at her. It was a miracle he had found a girl like her…it was a goddamn miracle and he was a lucky son of a bitch. He scoffed humourlessly though, “What do you even see in me Doll?” He knew he was a mess. Hair too long, beard too scruffy, soul broken. He had burdens too heavy to bear. He wasn’t fit for her in the slightest.

“I see everything in you, Bucky.” She murmured softly, lips pressing gently against his.

“I see a good man. A kind one. Loyal, gentle, protective, strong… I see everything, Bucky.”

And just like that, he fell in love. He made a vow that night, as he held her close, his deep breaths lulling her to sleep. He’d love her till his last breath and he’d make sure she knew it every single day. He wouldn’t ever push her away again.

**_\-----_ **

**_Two Weeks Later_ **

“ _Buck!_ ” Her words were loud and colourful as she arched her back, bowing so her breasts pressed tighter against his face.

 _“Fuck_ ” Bucky all but growled, his voice muffled against her voluptuous breasts as he continued sucking and laving at her nipples, his left hand squeezing the breast neglected by his mouth.

“Doll you gotta keep it down.” He murmured as a grind of his hips against hers caused her to let out another loud keening sound.

“I _can’t_.” she panted, “not when you..not when you’re teasing me like that.” Her eyes closed just as Bucky’s flashed wickedly, his smirk both playful and predatory.

“Oh you ain’t seen nothin’ yet darlin’”

Darcy laughed, her legs wrapping around Bucky’s torso, trapping him against her as she tugged his head up and pulled him into a rather filthy kiss.

“ _Fuck_ ” he groused, his length now hard and almost painful, desperate to be inside her.

“Turn over baby.” She muttered hotly against his ear, her hands raking through his locks, tugging teasingly as she pressed kisses along his jaw line. Nodding, he turned to lay flat on his back, expecting her to straddle him however his eyes widened as he watched her kiss her way down his abdomen. Before he could so much as open his mouth to tell her that she didn’t _have_ to do it and that he was happy to just _be_ with her, _God_ , her perfect lips had already wrapped around his length.

 _“FUCK_ ”

Darcy laughed for a moment at his reaction before she schooled her features, stared into his eyes and took as much of him in as she could.

\----

**_Two Months Later_ **

“Really? The 9 realms? There’s more places than Earth? And you’ve _been_ there?” His voice was filled with awe as he stared up at Darcy, head in her lap as he lay on a blanket, on the rooftop floor. She chuckled and shook her head as she carded her fingers through his hair. It was now becoming one of her favourite activities… _riiight_ next to another rather physical activity, _also_ involving Bucky.

“No I haven’t been there. Even _Jane_ wasn’t supposed to go but she was in danger and Thor was so desperate to save her that he chose to disobey his Father and bring her to Asgard anyway.”

“And they healed her in Asgard?” on Darcy’s nod, Bucky continued, “Why didn’t she just stay there, if Earth was so dangerous…she could have gotten you outta danger too.”

Darcy sighed softly, her mood deflating a little as memories of Jane came to the forefront of her mind. “Humans aren’t allowed on Asgard. Thor fell in love with Jane but she was shot at one point and the weapon HYRDA soldier used had been modified by the Tesseract. There was no way of saving her using Earth’s medical technology, so for a week, Thor took Jane to Asgard. As soon as she had been healed, Thor brought her back to Earth. Besides,” she conceded, “Asgard was going through their own bought of problems which ultimately lead to the Einstein-Rosen Bridge to collapse and Thor being banished back to Earth.”

Bucky mulled over her words for a few minutes, a comfortable silence settling between them.

“And your friend Jane…she’s a scientist? And you by proxy are-”

“Noooo no no,” she interrupted him very quickly, her head leaning down to knock gently against his as she giggled, “I’m nowhere _near_ being a scientist.”

“You help out with Howard,” Bucky argued but again, Darcy was quick to interrupt, “I picked up some engineering and design skills from my time with Tony but the stuff I did for Jane was mostly data analysis and general assistance with carrying equipment, translating her gibberish into actual mathematical calculations for notes…Oh! And I edited the books she published about interdimensional travel-”

He had that look in his eyes that was part amusement and part amazement. But most of all, what struck her, was the complete and utter fondness in his gaze.

“What?” she chuckled, blushing. Bucky grinned, his fingers entwining with hers, tugging her closer till his lips brushed gently against hers.

“Just wondering how I ended up with a college girl from the future”

“ _Ended up_ huh?” Darcy asked coyly, her eyes not quite meeting his.

“Darce…” His voice almost a whisper, his fingers twirling strands of her hair, “till I’m gone or you are…this is _it_ for me. You’re my best girl.”

**_\---_ **

**_Four Months_ **

Darcy laughed unabashedly as she tucked herself under Bucky’s arm. She hadn’t had this much fun in a _long_ time. The Commandos has just come back from a successful mission and they were all out at their local pub celebrating. Darcy was already 3 drinks down and fairly tipsy but nevertheless, she thought Dum Dum was _hilarious_. He reminded her of her Grandfather when he had still been alive; jovial, stern and yet plain _funny_.

“Now tell me Darcy, how did a fella like Bucky Barnes, land such a swell dame like yourself?!” Dugan asked and Steve snorted, beer nearly coming out of his nostrils. Peggy smacked his back as she laughed.

“He’s a good man, Dum Dum, you know that!” Darcy defended, her smile as bright as ever, fingers brushing Bucky’s cheek affectionately. “Besides,” she winked, “it doesn’t hurt that he can charm the pants off anyone.”

Dum Dum let out a roar of laughter whilst the guys heckled and Bucky groaned in playful annoyance.

“Darce your blue jokes are more scandalous nowadays ya know?” he mumbled quietly in her ear, his lips brushing her earlobe, his smile ever present and growing as he watched Steve turn a bright shade of red, Peggy following suite shortly after.

“Doesn’t seem like you mind, Soldier,” Darcy mumbled back, her smirk growing at the darkening of his gaze. He brought their entwined hands to his lips and pressed a kiss on her pulse point.

Later that night, as he was stripping her clothes off, he bit her shoulder as his large palms cupped her breasts, “Say it again,” he muttered hotly against her ear, tugging her back tighter against his chest as his arms enveloped her.

“Say what again?” she asked breathlessly, her neck arching as his lips pressed wet kisses along it.

“Soldier.” He all but growled, making Darcy chuckle, “I’ve called you that before, Soldier.”

He hummed against her ear, “You have…but back then I couldn’t do _this_.” He squeezed her breasts, mouth sucking a bruise against her clavicle.

Darcy moaned, “I don’t think there was ever a time where you couldn’t do that,” she confessed, making him snicker. Spinning her around, he kissed her deeply, his hands groping her ass reverently.

“You used to call me Soldier _all_ the time in Camp Lehigh. You were such a tease.”

She paused, pulling back slightly, her gaze thoughtful as her eyes wandered his face.

“What?” he asked with a tinge of worry in his tone, his hands moving to wrap around her waist.

“This is the first time since we’ve gotten together that you’ve brought up the..uh..other me.” Darcy chewed on her lower lip – a sign Bucky knew meant she was nervous.

“Do you still think of her?” Darcy blurted out, flustered and embarrassed, her mouth taking over as she charged on, “when we have sex and when we kiss and when- is it her you’re picturing?!”

“What? Doll..” Bucky laughed and then upon the narrowing of her eyes, his tone shifted to a more frantic panic of sorts, “No! no it ain’t like that…I don’t think of you two as different people anymore. Haven’t done so in a while. _God_ , no, doll, you’re…I don’t know how to explain.” He sighed, pulling away completely.

Taking a seat on his bed, he ran his hands through his hair, all but tugging strands of it rather painfully as if he was reprimanding himself for bringing up Camp Lehigh.

“Come sit…I’ll try my best to explain.” He hand was outstretched again, and Darcy’s mind flashed back to four months ago when he had been so broken in front of her, all but begging for her to listen to him. Nodding, she placed her hand in his and sat beside him.

“I was angry at first cos you didn’t…you didn’t remember me-it was a real blow to uh…to my ego.” He flushed rather adorably as Darcy’s eyebrows rose.

“You just…” he licked his lips, “it _seemed_ like you were a different person – like there were two versions of you, but not in the way that you think. It wasn’t ‘past Darcy’ and ‘Present Darcy’…it was more, ‘Darcy that gave a shit about me’ versus ‘Darcy that doesn’t’. You used to look at me with such fondness in Camp Lehigh. It was like, from the moment we met, you already knew me. You knew how to make me feel comfortable, you knew when I tried lying to you, you knew when I tried being all macho, pretendin’ I didn’t miss home…you saw past all that bravado and you didn’t once judge me.” he chuckled to himself, “I thought you were an _angel,_ Doll. That picture of you in my head…it kept me going through some pretty tough times...so it was a hard blow ya know? When we met again, like you said we would, and you just didn’t…you didn’t look at me with the same emotion in your eyes anymore. You even warned me that you wouldn’t know who I was…but I dunno, I don’t think I fully accepted it or understood.”

“So…what, me caring for you changed the way you perceived me?” Darcy asked, mulling his words in her head. Bucky shook his head, a derisive laugh leaving his lips.

“Us spending more time with each other made me realise I was an _idiot_. You were still _you_ and I was still gonna fall for you, no matter what.”

Her eyes snapped up to his, wide like a deer caught in headlights.

“Bu- you…what are you trying to say?” She stuttered through the sentence.

“I’m trying to say, Darcy, the ‘you’ from before, the ‘you’ from now, the ‘you’ from the future…all of you…I’m trying to say that I love _you_.” He winced after a long moment of silence, “did that make sense?”

She laughed, her eyes glistening due to the simple tenderness of the moment and before he could elaborate further, her lips sealed his in a sweet kiss, devoid of anything but love. And then she whispered against his open mouth, “I love you too, Bucky Barnes. Till the end of time.”

**_\---_ **

**_Six Months_ **

“Oops! Sorry,” Darcy gasped as the flat razor in her hand nicked Bucky’s cheek. Small drops of blood pooled to the surface but as she got a wet towel and started wiping away, she noticed the surface cut already closing up. Blinking rapidly, she tilted her head with a ‘huh’.

“What?” Bucky asked curiously, his palm rubbing against his jawline, “I don’t think you actually cut me.”

She held up the wet towel to show him the evidence.

“Huh” he nodded, “barely felt it.”

“You’re healing faster.” Then, biting her lip, she spoke gently, knowing that this was still a topic he wasn’t all that comfortable discussing.

“I think your body has finished adapting to the serum, baby.”

His eyes narrowed at her use of that word. She _knew_ it made him a little week in the knees, which meant she was going to follow it up by saying something he didn’t really want to hear.

“You’re stronger, you’re healing faster,” Darcy frowned, her fingers running through his locks at the base of his neck, “didn’t I just give you a hair cut last week?”

He shrugged, palms pushing her legs wider apart so he could stand between them. Her seat on the bathroom counter made her somewhat even in height to him now.

“So my hair’s growing faster and my cut healed quickly. I don’t think I’m getting any stronger though” he flexed his biceps and Darcy’s mouth dried at the sight. The coy look he was shooting her from under his lashes made her smack his naked chest. He knew full well what he was doing, the cheeky bastard. He laughed in response, one large hand catching both her wrists and holding them at bay as his other hand flattened on the base of her back, pulling her closer with ease, till their hips were aligned.

“You’re definitely getting stronger” she muttered, her lips kissing the corners of his jaw, “the bed frame is pretty mangled from what you did to it last night.” She sassed as she arched an eyebrow. It had been a rather glorious sight, watching Bucky’s mouth part, his cheeks flush, his eyes widen, his breath deepen…and then the _crack_ of wood as his fist clenched around the solid oak bedframe as he came.

He felt heat pool in his belly as she reminded him of the night before. Letting go of her wrists, he watched as her fingers drifted to where his towel had been wrapped low around his hips. Placing his palms on either side of her, he rested his forehead against hers as her soft hands tugged on his dick.

“Mmm you weren’t complaining last night,” he countered, his own fingers drifting up her thighs, caressing, teasing. Slowly they pushed aside her panties as she aligned his dick to her entrance. He watched, entranced, as she took him in inch by inch. He let out a deep groan as he bottomed out inside her, his mouth attacking hers enthusiastically as his hands supported her arched back.

“You’re so good to me, Doll” He moaned against her ear as he thrusted. Her responding gasp made him shiver as his lips placed wet, open mouth kisses against the swell of her breasts.

“You’re good to me too, baby” Darcy stuttered out as Bucky’s thumb began rubbing her clit.

“ _So good_ ” she keened a little, nails digging into his shoulders, lips cascading onto his as he drove them to their climax.

\---

**_Eight Months_ **

“Shh, go back to sleep Doll, it’s only me.”

Darcy grumbled, stretching awake, rubbing sleep out of her eyes as she rose to her knees.

“Darce-” Bucky chuckled as he took off his boots and socks.

“You’re early,” her voice cracked in her sleepy haze as she made grabby hands at him. Sighing, he walked closer till she was able to wrap her arms around his torso, her head pressed against his chest.

“You know I stink, right? I haven’t washed properly in two weeks”

“You smell like _man_.”

Bucky snorted at her response, his hands rubbing down her back soothingly.

“Let me get the bath started darlin’, I’ll be back in 2 minutes.” He extricated himself from her arms and made his way into the bathroom. Darcy had a habit of clinging to him for a couple days after he returned from missions. It wasn’t something he minded _at all_. He basked in her attention, especially now that it was getting closer to _the mission._

He chuckled and pulled her into a hug when he noticed she had followed him into the bathroom.

“How are you feeling?” she mumbled softly, her fingers already popping open buttons on his uniform. He knew exactly what she was referring to. It was the elephant in the room – had been since the start of this month. They both knew his next mission would be to capture Zola on the HYDRA train.

“Trying not to think about it.”

“It’ll all go ok,” she reassured him, pushing his jacket off his shoulders, fingers now working on unbuckling his under armour. It was a familiar enough routine by now that Darcy could do it in her sleep. She had been undressing him after every mission for the past 8 months. They usually talked about Bucky’s mission during it – how he felt about it, what she did whilst he was away, whether he slept ok…it soothed him. Made him feel like he wasn’t alone – that Darcy was there in this with him.

“I made modifications to your armour whilst you were away.”

He nodded, listening to her as he watched her eyes focus on her task at hand.

“Made it denser so the impact from a hit shouldn’t impact you as badly. I also made you this device that disconnects the automatic doors from the central control system so when you enter the train car, just attach it to any one of the doors in the carriage and it’ll let out a pulse, disrupting the signal - should stop you and Steve from getting separated when Zola remotely closes the carriage door.”

“How do you know all of this in such detail again?” He asked, curiously, just like he had asked her many times before. She rolled her eyes playfully, “I told you already – mission logs. You were…you were a wreck after Cap fell off and uh…look, you _know_ I can’t tell you what happens”

“Yeah, yeah ok, ok,” he mumbled, placing a kiss on top of her head.

“Sit,” she nudged him to get into the bath and followed suit to sit behind him in the tub. Wetting a washcloth, she began rubbing his arms with it, getting rid of the grime and sweat in soothing motions. He sighed deeply, sinking in the water till the back of his head was pillowed comfortably against Darcy’s chest. She pressed her lips firmly against the side of his head, her arms wrapping around his shoulders.

Words weren’t needed, as the two of them lay in the tub; the sounds of water lapping against skin being enough to lull them into a peaceful calm. He opened his mouth a couple times but hesitated and signed instead. He had a _question_ he wanted to ask her…but he was scared to ask..or rather, scared of her answer. So he simply sighed, again, and closed his eyes, forcing his thoughts to the very bottom of his mind.

“I’ll stay.” She blurted out, making his eyes snap open.

“What?”

“If I don’t…once you come back from the mission…and I’m still here…I’ll stay. With you.”

Owlish eyes blinked rapidly, moisture forming fast in them.

“I can’t ask that of you-”

“You didn’t ask,” she countered, her brows arched.

“But you know this is what I want.” He argued, shaking his head, “I don’t want you to feel like you have to because of me-”

She snorted, her lips covering his in multiple short pecks, “You’re not making me do anything, Buck.” Her kisses progressed down the column of his neck, her lips sucking a soft bruise that she knew would disappear within minutes, “I want to…you’re my fella.”

He was silent for a long moment as he felt her nose nuzzle against the crook of his neck. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he whispered, “Really? You’ll stay?”

Gentle fingers pressed his jaw, turning his head to face her. Eyes boring into his, she nodded, “I’ll stay with you Bucky.” She needed him to _know_ she meant every word and something in her eyes must have convinced him as he too began nodding.

“I love you, ya know?” His lips titled to a gentle smirk and she grinned back in response, “I love you too baby. Till the end of time.”


End file.
